cold n wet afternoon never fails to relate to the emotional and sensual side of me..

wat's up for this afternoon? i jus realised i haven set any resolutions for this year. have reflected on myself for umpteen times. wat haf i learnt abt myself anyway..

its always e case of "i know wat's wrong"... the hardest is always the changing part. how do i instill discipline in myself?

haf always been the carefree soul.. its hard for me to settle down. i really dont like wat i'm doing now. and i seriously hate forcing myself doing things i dont wanna do. yet bagged on each one of us, are bags of responsibilities.. esp towards my parents. how can i let them and let myself down by giving up now?

i believe in mind over body. yet my mind ain't strong enough to push myself jus to concentrate for the coming 4 months. time jus kept ticking away. no one can help me unless i help myself. i wish i can stop questioning and get cracking.

i kept hearing ppl telling me i'm strong.. i believe so. yet believing is jus not sufficient.

i'm feeling lost and aimless. i see my goal n finishing line. yet i'm jus frozen on e spot. its my final lap but my feet are stuck to the ground. much as i know i need to move, i cant. my heart dont wanna move on. i'm tempted to stray off this track. to explore the possibilities and opportunities that lurks afar.. this track will still be ard for me to return. but is it all worth it? i know hanging on for another few months n i can choose whatever path tat is given to me without the liability of coming back on this track again. oh God! can u pls guide my way and give me e strength i need to continue trotting this disgusting path?