:: a little bit of claudia ::

Friday, January 26, 2007

Specially post a seperate entry for this.. cos i wanna thank my dearest Elaine for spending time with me tonight, despite her crazy hours in school.. n in the midst of her financial "drought"..

Last night has been most emotional for me since start of 07. Found myself shivering in fear, tearing non-stop and i wont stop hyperventilating.. Even after i calmed myself down, tears still wont stop n i end up going to sleep on a wet pillow. Thankfully cos of insomnia past few nights, n after so much crying n hyperventilating, i slept like a baby till noon today.

Frankly if anyone know me well enough, one of the only person who has enough impact to make me cry this hard and set me in so much fear is none other than my mum..

I spent the moments before i sleep thinking what are the things i can do to help my family and prevent it from breaking apart. Frankly i know unless i cant improve my mum's character, the man who has supported her through their over 34 yrs of marriage might just come to an end. It's like on a thin line, on the verge of breaking. And if this man, known to me as the man i respect most on earth, were to let go, i would still perfectly understand why and how much he has gone through.

So i spent my afternoon at coffeebeans with my laptop, googling all possible alternative therapy i could seek to save my family. It's a tough to talk abt why i'm seeking such therapy..

It's always the case when it comes to my mum's issue. It's so complex and long i cannot bring myself to explain (even in short) clearly what's happening. So the only person i find comfort in understanding the situation is my sis. When it comes to issues like this, dont we all just wanna talk to the ppl we just need to talk abt it 50% and she gets the rest of the story.. So i never liked talking abt it.

ANYWAY.. dear elaine.. thanks for being there for me, just to have a comforting dinner of fish steamboat. The shopping part was such an added bonus! Cheers me up completely... Thought coming back home was like walking into a minefield once again, ur presence to be with me made so much a difference.. *BIG HUG*

1:38 AM 0 comments

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