Love is like taking a bus..

... sometimes its too crowded, u say "take the next 1!".
... sometimes its non air-conditioned, u say "it's too warm!" so u gave it a miss.

Finally u got what u wished. Got on an empty, air-conditioned bus.
Yet on rainy days, u suddenly miss the breeze on the non air-conditioned bus..

As time goes by, u realise u've wasted too much time waiting for the right bus.
So u hop on any bus that comes along the way..

Only to realise it's the wrong bus!

The moral of the story is to appreciate whatever we have. The pursue for beatiful things never ceast to exist. Yet there is a limit to how much we can have. Life is too short to have regrets and second chances may never come..

Much as i have so much things i wanna talk abt, I'm really too tired to blog on. Have been staring at the my screen for the past 15 hrs at least. So i'll let pictures do e talking first. Add in details tomorrow.. Good night folks!

**Updated 27th March 10:42pm**

I'm back! Here it goes.. Met Elaine to do shopping at Vivocity last saturday after so so so so long.. Met at noon, so of course lunch first la! We were so hungry. Hee.. Had a really sumptuous lunch at the food court. I had herbal soup while elaine had 刀削面 with seafood. On top of that there was 豆浆油条！Hee...

That's US camwhoring AS USUAL.. hehe...

Dont u think we look better silly? Lol...


That's Ted Baker's latest window display. So cool rite!! It's so cute.. Tagline for their latest collection is "Cuckoo for the new season"... Nice!

Our Disney handphone trinklet! Sooo cute! WE LOVE IT! Especially love e cute brolly attached with it.. ;)


Loot of the day! I bought this mod looking black bird while elaine bought the gold one below. Pretty pretty...






... n finally tat's the final buy of the day.. nice bag! Chocolates make anyone happy.. I've always fantasized about chocolate factories. Haha.. Finding 1 at Robertson Quay was so amazing! Discovering yet another chocolate factory is A DREAM COME TRUE!

So so.. this pocket tube contains dark chocolate coated orange peels.. I'm a sucker for orange chocs!! Wee...!! HAPPY!...

There are so many surprises tonight.. n its all relationship related..

Ok the not so nice news first..

The other nite when i was talking to junie till dawn, discovered someone i know recently is married. Came as a shock cos i never knew.. thou i never asked n it doesn't really concern me, i felt disgusted with a married man flirting ard. Dont get me wrong. He didn't flirt with me. In fact i dont really talk to him much. So happened he was trying to pick june's friend up. So yucks! I deleted him off msn straight away.

I was in the gossip mode tonight so i was surfing friendster n discovered so many new events happening in my friends' life. A girlfriend of mine got attached pretty soon after breaking up with her ex of 7 yrs. She was so down and almost suicidal then cos e guy left her for someone new. That happened less than half a year ago. Now she's with someone new for e last couple of months. Ok tat's fast... so that really got me wondering abt how ppl move on so quickly with their lifes. I need to learn tat lesson really well..

Also discovered 1 of my ex bf is getting married. How surprising... Pleasantly surprise that is. Cos he's not v old, but i suppose financially stable. So if he's met the right one for him, i'm glad n wish him all the best. Things got pretty sour btw us back then when we part.. several ugly episodes that dragged on for months. Were together for abt 2 yrs then.

Well looking back i suddenly said to elaine, maybe if those unfortunate events did not happen to us, we might jus go a long way. He is a nice guy and treated me properly. I got a comment b4 he was 1 of the few nice guy i was with. I agree, cos e rest were jerks! lol... But then again given me back then, i guess i jus refused to be tied down.

Between age 17 to 20, i guess tat was the period of time i was most "messed up". Well i suppose its the stage when i was growing up.. alot of paths i chose ended up in dead ends. But i guess somehow it led me to where i am today. At 21, 2005, tat year was tough. Apart from my mum's hospitalisation, June left for UK. 1 less buddy by my side.. i also had to leave lasalle in 2005. 1 of my regret in life cos i couldn't complete my course. 2006 got even worse with my depression episode. Mum's hospitalised again. And the break up.. But when i look back now i see that i am very fortunate cos despite this 2 extremely rough years, i have a very special someone by my side. I sailed the journey with alot of love in my heart and not anger or resentment to my setbacks. I learnt a great deal throughout the journey.

2007 started with alot of new hopes and new opportunities. I also adopted a different way of living my life. I felt closer to my religion and i found comfort and peace from it..

So i guess as we grow older, we learn alot of new things along the way.. the key is to be aware and learn the lessons well. Only then will we not have regrets in our lifes..

I spotted this pair of really cute earrings on an online shopping site.. totally in love with it but alas! it's OUT OF STOCK! darn...

but well, i guess its a good thing too. Cos i suppose its gonna cost abt $150 at least.. (price cant be seen cos its sold out..) designer piece, limited pieces. Made of gold n coral stones. So who says gold is no longer chic anymore?

Anyone interested to know e site private msg me.. i dont do advertising free. Hee..

I jus got home from movies with e guys.. finally caught up with them ever since CNY. The show 300 is really good i'd say.. Initially tot it wont be something i'd like, but i'd still watch it cos i hardly see these buddies of mine. It was a good evening with nice chicken rice n good old friends.. Cindy left after dinner, while laine couldn't make it for dinner. Nevertheless i'd be on a shopping trip with her tmr. FINALLY! Hee.. Can u believe i haven seen my best best best best friend ever since CNY.. (meeting on train not counted!!) So it's record breaking.. lol..

Today i tried a new yoga class call Vinyasa flow.. So far i've been going to hot yoga regularly for the past month n i thought my stamina should have got better. Man i was so wrong. The class was so much a challenge to me! But i learn something very meaningful out of it.

When i told the instructor it was very much a challenge to me, she said, "Challenge is good. It is only the tough things we do that we remember. If it's too easy we tend to forget about it.." and i thought, how true! It made me think alot throughout the whole day.. Certainly it wasn't easy to get through the 60 minutes session. But i guess i see myself going back for more. I hope i'll be able to cope better after 4-5 sessions..

Last nite i had a dream.. i dreamt of "him" again. The last time i did, my dreams were still very much about him returning to my side, etc.. But last nite i dreamt of us heading for dinner as friends. So i'm glad i did not wake up feeling heavy with emotions like i used to. It's good to know i'm really no longer holding on to anything.. Somehow these days, there is a peace in me that i cannot describe with words.. When it comes to matters of the heart, my mind and soul is still as water yet runs deep from within..

Today i had tea at Bakerzin in the evening..




The banana pizza is a nice warm dessert with lots of nice memories in it. The last time i was sitting at this cafe was last year, with cindy and him.. Was also the first time we tried this and we simply love it. So very naturally the memories float back in mind and i'm glad to smile as i reminisce abt e past while i savour this delightful dessert..

Today i did a bit of shopping again.. *feeling guilty* I bagged a pair of shades from Accessorize. Something quite different from what i'm using now. Since the last time i spent money on shades was almost 2 years back, n i rarely find a nice fitting frame for my face, i decided it was worth it. Heee.. Yes full of excuses. But i love it's vintage feel n i cant help feeling vain in it. Haha... It's been a good day for me. Now it's time to get down to finish some serious work. Good nite folks! :D

Taken during my morning jogs... This world is most beautiful at dawn. When e world slowly wakes up to a brand new day.. The silence broken by birds singing in the trees...

At times i think i have too much things to talk about.. Will i exceed bandwidth 1 day? *shrugs*

I'm freaking tired today, but its not cos of work. Meeting ended at abt 12noon. So i made my way to town to shop for a pair of shoes. Not cos i'm a shoppaholic mind u! I'm told "it's recommended to wear cover toe shoes..." ZZZzzzzz......

On day 1 of work, i feel like telling someone this: What i wear, what i tattoo on my body, how i look physically will NOT affect my work performance.

So much as i'm really zonked out after walking for miles jus to get a pair of "appropriate" shoes and yoga class in the evening, i have to stand in front of my wardrobe and try to pick something "appropriate" to wear for my day 2. I'm need tocover up my tattoo.

Is revealing it gonna mean i'll distract alot of people at work? Maybe they think so.

Or perhaps i would stick out like a sore thumb among all the goody-two-shoes.

What's up man..!! It's 2007. By the way tattoos went all the way back to 2000BC!!! The first tattoo machine was invented in 1890s.. now u're telling me it is not acceptable. How wierd is tat?

So i wonder how many more tops that are deemed "appropriate" do i have to buy.. n bye bye to the remaining 95% of my wardrobe. I can only wear something from within them on my Sundays... How smart is tat?

Maybe someone would be asking then why i bother to even work in such an environment and whine like i've got no choice when actually i can jus leave...


Well cos life ain't a bed of roses.. or rather i dont wanna remain in my comfort zone. I hope i'd discover something pleasant myself that would make me look forward to work... HOPEFULLY.. hopefully... ... ...

I'll be starting work in a brand new environment tomorrow.. will be heading for medical check first then to office in noon for meeting with the various departments. I can then leave after that.. So actually work officially only start on tuesday. Hopefully i'll get to meet my new boss tmr. Was told she'll only start work at a later date than me..

The weekend has been pretty emotional for me. Blame it on my raging hormones.. Today things sort of got worse. Had to resort to pop mood stabilizers which i stayed cleared for the past year. Well it wasn't a bad thing also. At least i stay in control of my emotions.. It really isn't a good thing to be feeling this way jus before i start a new job. But i suppose i'll be in control and make it through..

Yesterday evening i had a surprise before i went for my haircut. Uncle Paul from bangkok sprang on a surprise visit at home. This family friend played great host when i visit bangkok for meeting 1 year back.. tat visit, austin was with me. After the usual "hellos", the question popped up, "so how's austin?".. i was stunned for a second..

Had dinner with edmond last night after my haircut. My saturday night was suppose to be quite eventful. Made plans to go to Cafe del Mar and play mahjong after that. But i didn't turn up for that cos i simply wasn't in the mood.. *sigh* My classmate Austin has been really nice n sweet to even offer to be my chauffeur to try to cheer me up.. (thou sometimes he can be really irritating also la! but this time at least he's nice la. hee..) In the end i still didn't go to CDM cos i think i shldn't go spoil the mood..

So so.. i ended up ranting all kinda nonsense through dinner. Everything from studies to friends to family.. i jus went on n on. Haha.. i did feel better after talking so much. Thanks Edmond for being a great listening ear.. It's always nice to have a friend who listens on a moody day..

I feel so blessed to have this 2 friends who tries hard enough to cheer me up despite my horrible mood. I guess life is beautiful after all... *smile*

Everybody wish me good luck at work tmr ok!! :D

I'm not really 100% satisfied with my new haircut.. but i guess i'll grow to like it.. Still look very much e same from e front i guess. Just that e back is chopped off, forming a concave arc to the side. Maybe i do look a little fresher? But somehow not my mood... Hmm...

I'm feeling really really down today n i'm not sure why.. Perhaps its the time of the month where my hormones start going crazy and this is commonly known as PMS!

So i decided i'm going to revamp my crowning glory. I jus made appointment with KR+ at millenia walk.. Hope they can perform a miracle and give some life to the hairstyle tat has been with me since forever... Hopefully i'll come home feeling good.

So bye bye to my old hair style. I hope i wont miss old me too much! Oh man i do look haggard without makeup isn't it? Darn.. i give up.. It's a bad day.. i need therapy!!!

I'm not sure what exactly is wrong with myself. It's 4:30am. I've been trying to write 1 news article for the past 16 hrs and i just cant get anything going.

At first i got 1 article up. Then the more i read it, the more i realise there is a structural problem with it. But somehow i cannot rectify the error. So i decided i should write a brand new article. But somehow i'm really clueless about writing this article. I dont think it's something very hard that i cannot manage. But somehow i'm jus getting nowhere.. What is wrong with me? Mental blockage?? Or wat? How come i dont even know for sure what's wrong.. it feels so wierd.

So i have sort of screwed up 2 deadlines now. What are the practical steps i should take to rectify the problem i have now? I asked myself repeatedly..

The only thing that is keeping me awake would be caffeine. But other than being awake physically i guess my mind has shut down already. It feels so strange to be awake but yet dead at the same time. I even suspect i'm beginning to sound nonsensical.. Am i??

This is a strange post. So strange...

Suddenly i feel a bit emotional tonight.. so i'm gonna rant on abt my feelings and personal opinions quite a bit. There's no right, no wrong.. No yes or no. Jus my feelings i wanna pour out tonight..

My week started off today with a call that is about to change my life. I got a call from my "prospective employer" and instead of a 2nd interview, i'm given the appointment straight. Frankly i wasn't enthusiastic about the job cos the package just ain't atttractive. But somehow when i sorta decided to delay my job search till after my sis's wedding, i decided i should just take up the offer that has been hanging in front of me so some time.. I'm still not sure if it's e wisest choice, but i figured i should make the best out of what is presented to me, instead of rejecting it and keep searching for the "right" job. There really isn't a "right" or "perfect" job..

I'm not in the least worried about not being able to get along with my colleagues-to-be. Instead my only concern would be me juggling work with yoga classes. Funny ain't it? I'm not even worried about my class schedules.. (I've worked it out, for Apr my classes will not clash. So assignments wise its up to me to juggle my time..) It's only right for me to worry ma.. Since i stashed close to $500 on my yoga classes 1 shot. I must achieve the goals i've planned for myself.. Now cos of the new appointment i need to work out my time again. Definitely no more time for afternoon leisurely shopping sessions with my sis.. she gotta get on with her wedding plans on her own from now. N me, be working out on my own too.. Anyhoo i believe somehow things will fall in place when it comes to work so i dont have to worry and just go ahead with it.

Was talking with Cindy and Elaine online earlier.. somehow e issue abt "friendship" drifted in. Right at e very moment it struck me i've been meeting my buddies so much lesser than b4. We've all taken paths in life different from each other. We have developed our personal goals to meet in life, and set priorities that differ from one another. N these are factors which contribute to how hard it is to have lifelong friendships..

If there has to be one thing i am proud of, of myself in my life.. it will be my role as a friend to my friends. (Fortunately or unfortunately, i'm still learning to be a good daughter!) For my friends, i felt i've always put in my 101%.. to be there whenever i can, to share joys and tears.. As far as possible, i rarely say no to anyone.

Perhaps i'm now satisfied with my role as a friend/sister.. i suppose it's time for me to work on other priorities in my life tat i've neglected. I wanna restore my health, live a healthier life and be a better person inside and outside. It's time to work on my career path and complete my tertiary education.. I cant wait for a new life to kick start!

When i look back a bit, i realise i've wasted alot of precious time. Especially felt i've spent too much of my time in relationships and being plagued by the endless problems that accompanied them. Of cos for the past months i do miss having someone there when i hit my low points. But i've got through them and realise for myself that relationships can come later. Opportunities for work might never come knocking again cos good opportunities will wait for no man. While the right man for me will always be there no matter how long i take, ya? Well i find myself in the grey area.. Yes n no to that. But definitely i'm clearer of what i'm looking for in a relationship and i look forward to something to keep and not something that leaves me with another episode of heartbreak..

Sometimes i hate to find myself getting more and more practical about life. I find it hateful to be weighing out a job by the remunerations. But life is very real. Without money, there is no career prospects to talk about bcos dressing up for an interview needs money too! Impossible to land urself any jobs if you're not dressed appropriately.. Without money, i cannot further my studies. I cannot take up yoga and talk about living a 'balanced' life. Without money forget abt the 'Organic food' fad.. Without money forget abt hanging out with friends cos even getting out to take a bus cost u money.. This is how sick this world is, yes!

Nevertheless the cure here is the love we have for the people and things ard us.. being passionate about wat we do, becoming who we want ourselves to be.. I guess the moral is not to lose ourselves in the midst of sustaining our material life. What point is there when there's no one to share the fruit of ur labour?

I just hope wherever i be in future, I'd always have a warm home to return to..

My weekend has been pretty happening.

Brought my mum to attend a charity concert at VCH. 1 of her good friend of more than 30 yrs, was performing and invited my mummy to the event. Frankly, i was kinda reluctant to go. I mean how interesting can it be.. an event for old people. But seriously i was blown away by the performers who were mostly well-known sopranos from ard the region. So it was a rather enchanting evening actually.. most impt i'm glad i didn't deprive my mum the chance of such an evening with us. (It's indeed quite a chore since VCH ain't really wheelchair-friendly like The Esplanade..)


In the midst of e performance, the thought of my mummy having such a good friend is so heartwarming.. My Auntie Mary was my family's neighbour even before i was born. I remember she always visit us with piping hot cookies and cakes that she made herself. Think she used to teach cooking at some culinary school.. As a retiree, she has been a very active volunteer and she visits my mum regularly to spend time with her. How nice.. I hope 1 day when i'm sick and old my dearie friends would come visit me too! Hee..

So after sending my mum home after the concert, the night has jus started for me.. Only met Ade n Cindy after 11pm, and the boys only came pick us up at close to 12. Nevertheless we made it to Cafe Del Mar to check out Pete Tong.. Normally i'd never pay more than 30 bucks to get into a club, but man it's Pete Tong! The music was great.. company definitely fantastic..






After CDM i headed to RK house for supper with the guys.. YES we finally made it there.. (the last time we were so close to making it there!) And guess wat? After supper, then i realise my bunch of keys are with Ade!! Too bad by the time i finished supper, this girl already knocked out unconscious on bed.. Tried so hard to wake her up. Must have left her at least 20 missed called but to no avail. So so.. made Edmond hung out with me till past 5am b4 i could get my mum to open the door for me. Tat was how blur i am la! Hehe.. Nevertheless the night at Cafe Del Mar ROCKS...!!

Desserts with eating tips.. Original isn't it?

Dad's call in the evening was such a surprise.. Checking if my cough is getting any better. So touched! Definitely an instant booster toward my road to recovery... *smiles*

Organic food has been my lifesaver these days. I bought a bottle of organic Apple and Raspberry juice for 38 bucks :P and a bottle of organic honey for 10 bucks. But i felt so much better after jus half a day.. sounds like a miracle? I thought so too...

Couldn't sleep at all last nite, as usual.. e cough kept me awake. So i got up this morning at 730am to send my dad off his business trip.. and cooked porridge as my meals for the rest of the day. From 8am, i started mixing my plain water with the honey.. by 11am my throat was so soothed i slept like a baby at 12pm till 3.. now i really recommend organic food, thou i was really skeptical abt it earlier on myself..


I made this really sumptuos and delicious porridge today. Really easy. Just put the rice, dried scallop, dried oysters and mushrooms plus half a pot of water into the slow cooker.. i had a very healthy and comforting porridge in abt 2 hrs. This porridge brings back alot of memories.. when i fell sick, with cough too!, few yrs back, i remember my mum made this for me daily till i recover. When she was hospitalised last yr, i also made this porridge for her everyday.. Love is still the best medication isn't it? I felt so comforted after eating this for lunch.. Even head for a session of hot yoga.


Not sure if its cos i decided to work out too soon.. nose started bleeding jus before dinner. Hmm.. Anyway i really hope i can gain my health back soon!

Feel so tortured by my condition.. seen e specialist yesterday and even after 3 doses of medications, i dont seem to have any improvements.. This is bad cos prolong coughing weakens the lungs and as e days go by it jus gets harder and harder for my body to recover on its own. That will mean stronger medications are needed.

I was kept awake the whole night coughing and coughing. The best i can do is to find a position that i dont cough so much n jus rest. Head to the washroom so often i've lost count. I've made appointment with the vet to bring my bunny for an op since last week. But sigh.. i have to cancel it, much as i wasn't willing.. (hardly find the right time whereby my sis can fetch me..) So my poor Cocoa has to wait till i recover b4 i can bring him again.

This morning, dad left for business trip. Back only on sunday.. Really worried if i fall v sick at night there will be no one tat can drive me to hosp if i really need it. Most of the time the cough gets worse at past midnight. Almost like an alarm clock.. i'd get asthma attack n cough non stop during that time. No amount of hot water will help.. I know only dripping medicated oil down my throat helps to cool off the attack. But my throat is already sore till it bleeds now. I dont wanna irritate it further with such harsh chemicals..

Sigh.. cos i cant talk much to anyone now, i can jus vent my frustrations and ranting to my blog.. i try not to go out at all these days. Coughing on the bus like almost like a taboo. Passengers will give u the "eekkk!" look as if i shld get off the bus before i infect another person with my chronic cough.. Esp when u're sick, frankly there's no way to control the volumn of ur cough. U jus have to do it bcos it happens that way... So it really can get quite embarrassing when u cant stop coughing and just have to get down the bus wherever u are...

All i wish is to get well really soon so that my work flow can start again. I'm getting all panicky about deadlines already.. Sobz..

I've lost count of the number of days i've been sick. About 2 wks i suppose.. been coughing non stop lately. Dont even wanna answer my phone calls cos i dont haf a voice! Sigh...

Feels so miserable cos i can hardly sleep at all.. fever comes n goes.. head spinning half e time. So i suppose its time to really watch my diet. So i've been frequenting organic cafes these days when i'm out.. other than that i cook my own meals.

Saturday night i was at OrganicXpress @ novena square and they serve affordable and fanatastic main courses and desserts..

My sis had the main course.. This is simmered cod fish with some japanese curry miso sauce. Cant remember exactly.. but it's served with boiled veggies and potato wedges. The portion is not too big so we dont over eat.. Who says organic food has to be boring and bland?

I decided to go for their minestrone soup and the above, organic yoghurt with konnyaku jelly and mix fruits. This is so yummy i can down another 5 cups man... but of cos, control!! Next time i go back, definitely be having this in another flavour. They've got fresh blueberries and mango ones too. Aawww.. i'm dying for comfort food now.

As for tonight, after seeing doc i decided to buy some fresh food home to cook. Realise there's almost nothing for me to eat out there since i'm really sick food like fish soup and porridge. So i whipped a small pot of chicken stew and made ham sandwiches. Tat was dinner..

So i suppose with a diet like tat, i'll probably lose some weight b4 i know.. plus all e coughin.. it's working out my tummy all day long. Sigh... i dont wanna lose weight this way u know.. but i'll still be happy abt it! lol....

Have an unpleasant incident to relate to..

Was at a coffee joint at Novena Sq today and i feel i've been treated unequally as a spending customer. Was in the queue with 2 english ladies ahead of me and a white couple behind me. so i was e only local in between 2 pairs of foreigners..

And i really wonder if u do get special treatment jus because one is fairer and speaks english with an accent?

Cos i was waiting and waiting and waiting... even when e 6th person got their drink, i was still waiting. I suppose they have consolidated "coffee" orders and prepared them first, while my tea latte is been placed last on the list. Come on! i deemed this as HORRENDOUS customer service. I should not be kept waiting since i was in the queue first. And if my drink is really more complicated to prepare, shldn't someone have the decency to ask me to take a sit n serve it to me? By the way there were 3 service staff, only 1 was preparing drinks. E remaining 2 were chatting away after customers placed their orders. This is a result of poor management.

This unpleasant incident definitely spoilt my day further from the rain.

Cos of the wet weather, i had to spend 14 bucks jus to get home.. when on other days i could haf got home at e same time at half e price. *sigh...*