1st Nov

Emotions are such powerful tools. It turns u into someone u're not, sometimes an evil monster without u realising it.

Date for conference i'm attending has been scheduled weeks before. Air tickets and accomodation has already been fixed. Jac's(my boss) suppose to pass me the pass yesterday. reminded him yesterday b4 we met clients in the evening. when we met then he realised he haven got the pass during to miscommunications btw him n don. he said he'll get it fixed online. so i jokingly say "oh if i cant get to e conference, then thanks for the holiday..."

on my way home this noon. received news entry day was indeed sold out. is tat my fault?

he insisted i pay for my hotel. but why should i? does it make any sense to anyone? n i came up with cash for the air tickets first. now i bet i wont get tat back too. this bastard can still tell me "ask ur friend to come up with it la. he's going to enjoy it wat.." this made me burst. i dont normally lose my temper. but i did. its nt abt the money. its abt integrity, responsibility and respect for yourself. jus bcos he was having a bad day dont give him e right to shift any responsibility away. it doesn't give u rights to say anything u want. n tat's basic of basic to being human? WTF.. i cant take it. i QUIT. period. don called from china. he say he'll pay me. but tat's besides e point u guys get wat i mean? its nt abt making ppl pay for the shit u've created. u made e mistake u pay for it. n if u had asked it nicely, i would haf say fine i'll pay for hotel. we can split. u guys know im nt calculative abt money! but dont fucking take advantage of my trust n simplicity.

i hate to see this disgusting side of him. haf always respected him n thankful when he shares his knowledge n it was a nice working experience. no one is perfect of cos. but turning nasty on money issue disgust me more than anything else.

now i'm thinking when i'm going back to clear my desk n say bye to this place i'm so familiar with. it hurts to a certain extence.

its indeed a bad way to start a new month. why do time seem to fly faster n faster as i get older? its 2 months to bid farewell to 2005. Gosh...