Its kinda shitty to feel nausea every single day. Argh!!

I've been feeling sick for coming two weeks? I've lost track of time. I'm not sure why i've been getting motion sickness, be it i travel by car, cab or bus. N now i'm getting it even while i'm sitting down. *feeling faint*

Shucks.. I hope it doesn't spoil my day. I'm suppose to be at east coast blading today!! What am i still doing at home with my fat ass stuck to e chair? ARGH...!!!!


WILL CLAUDIA GET TO BLADE?? STAY TUNE >>>

Girls' Nite out....

It was an a ultimately happening n wonderful "post-birthday" celebration... Jus elaine, june n me!

We girls decided to go for a sumptuous dinner @ hotstones, boat quay. Got a table by the riverside, accompanied with yummilicious food and bestest friends.. What else can i ask for in life at this moment?

A whole nite of cam-whoring.. our newly repaired digital n elaine's present, the polaroid cam.. U can imagine how much pictures we snapped! Now its jus waiting for elaine to load the pictures up n flood this page to make u blind! :D

After dinner at hotstones we headed to Cafe Iguanas for a Macho margarita.. Yes their signature huge-ass margarita - peach flavoured. It was so much catching up, talking abt our goals, meeting 20 yrs from now to celebrate our birthdays at Equinox! hahaa... n i'll pick elaine up from her office with my helicopter since she's pretty sure she'll be slogging her ass off then. I'm sure it'll be some world bank or finance MNC.. (with a landing pad.. elaine mus include in ur job resume ok! haha..)

So after drinks, we headed to Elaine's place to crash in!! Mahjong time... *weeee...~!*

After a couple of rounds, we were kinda tipsy.. chat lying in bed.. Elaine took our the pictures we took when in sec sch. Remember those photo stickers n card we went nuts on back in the 90s? Only realise how gross we looked like when we review them almost 10 yrs down e road. Hahaa.. n we tot we were e "hippiest" n e "coolest"?? Well we're still proud to say we were STILL better than e ah-lians back then. Hehee... It was the era of film cameras. We took lots of pictures and developed every single piece, pretty or ugly. No choice.. but it was so much fun laughing at ourselves, our dumb hairstyles, silly poses, devil-may-care attitude.. We were so happy n carefree back then...

Now that we're in the digital era, everything's in jpeg.. everything's in e-book form. 1 power failure may jus wipe ur hard disc clean. n there goes the memories...

Yeah! I'm soooo looking forward to the next Girl's night out..!!

Am gonna arrange for a great cook out at my place soon. ;)

Happy birthday

Happy birthday to me...

Has been countless times i've felt this space is so depressing and i jus cant help it. Yet there jus seem to be more and more similar post. Every word seem to be repeated again and again. How boring can i be? Its a shame.

There is a void within me i jus cant seem to fill. I need a spark to ignite some energy in my life. I've been figuring for a long time what that spark is.

Sometimes it daunts me to realise i have very vague memories of my very own life. And the reason behind it is i've probably been wasting 80% my life away. Days so insignificant when i look back in my life i cant seem to recall much events.

While i'm trying to wean off my medications, i'm fighting against the side effects and withdrawal symptoms. Its like i've been hooked on drugs and now i'm kicking the habit. When i feel depressed, i remind myself constantly its jus the side effects and i jus gotta bear with it. I made it thru today quite smoothly. Yet all of a sudden my tears somehow found its way to the brim of my eyes and i dont even know why its happening. Strange huh?

Its a tiring day. Been feeling sick since 3am. Gastritis. It sucks to feel nauseous all day n ur head feels like its gonna burst anytime. *feeling faint*

Life is jus about to start anew for me. Uni is starting in Sept and i'm already almost fully recovered, mentally and physically. It has been almost a year since i joined my new agency. I've gained some very valuable experience n some major additions to my portfolio. My family has been more stable.. Dear is also picking up financially. The future seems bright and well. I jus cross my fingers nothing happens to shatter this beautiful picture again...

Counting to date, I've been resting for half a year already. Of which, i spent most of the time searching for the real purpose of my existence. Depression was like a downward spiral. One moment i found myself slipping down, the next i cant seem to pick myself up again. I never thought i'd let myself go down like i didn't have a choice. I'm always portrayed as "strong", "capable", "positive" and "cheerful". Suddenly my soul seem to have left me and i started freaking out searching for myself.

No amount of talk therapy helped me. Following up was a alot of medications and stabilizers and even a stay in the psychiatric ward. Stabilizers seem to eliminate all kinds of emotions. Even the happy ones. Day in day out i felt like a zombie - completely emotionless. I'm not happy when i'm suppose to be, I cant cry when i really need to. Why did i haf to practically live off these tablets?

I never thought depression could be this real. So real i cant work, cant study, cant move on with life. It jus gets worse when u dont get the understanding from people like ur lecturers and employers. But i'm so glad my family stood by me, my friends supported me, my love was there for me all the same.

Getting back on my feet has been hard. I can jus keep saying i'm glad and still glad.

While lady luck begins smiling at me again, all aspects of my life seems to be improving. My soul is finally awake again. I'm so glad to be going back to school.. so glad i have great employers n clients that were completely understanding.. so ultra glad i'm moving on with my life newly recharged, gained a new perspective n new outlook for life...

I'm turning 22 in a couple of weeks.. I pray its my turning point.. n new life here i come!! :D

Been more than a week since i've been coughing.. Contracted Bronchitis. Thankfully i saw a specialist n am recovering now. Perhaps its the medicines that making me drowsy all day.. i've been sleeping like a pig..

Had several wierd dreams these days.. 1 nite i dreamt of my ex. It felt wierd cos this person hasn't came to my mind for some time. Last nite, i had a nice dream.. Was travelling alone in thailand. i look forward to my next backpacking trip. i miss travelling...

I've been real bored at home. Apart from sleeping n watching tv, nothing much happened.

Its saturday. N i'm having the runs again. Am i allergic to the weekends or wat? Hmm...

Ill fated...

ARGH! I simply hate cough.. n after shrugging it off for 2 yrs, the nightmare is back to haunt me yet again.. it contributes greatly to my insomnia problem. Thanks. *roll eyes*

N how ill fated can i be to be down with diarrhea at the same time. i've been lying in bed the whole of wednesday n thursday. While i got slightly better yesterday, work is out to haunt me. Spent e whole day at starbucks n covered half of my workload. *thank God*.. Caught the very exciting match of Germany vs Argentina last nite @ elaine's place.. man it was a long 2 hrs battle b4 Germany won penalty shoot out of 4-2.. i guess homeground does make a difference isn't it.. n TONIGHT!! the big match of England vs Portugal...

Can u see e world is Living Football, Eating Football, Talking Football and even dreaming Football? Its hell of a lifestyle, a culture, than a sport itself...

While i'm as sick as a dead fish, i'm still dragging myself out to do some shopping later b4 we scream e hell down at Cindy's place at nite. hehee.. I hope i still survive 2moro..

It has been rather unfortunate for me this wk. Mum was wreaking havoc at home again. Scream the whole house down. For a moment i thought i'll be joining Mavis in IMH singing her songs by her bedside. :P

Antidepressant works wonders. Thou the week has been most unsetting.. thou my dearie has been busy n we haven met.. i didn't wan him to stay over in case i poison him with my virus.. Nights of insomnia.. crying.. coughing.. running to the loo..

I SURVIVED! yeah... *clap clap*

Well i've finally finalized my application for my BA studies in communication n media management in Uni of South Aussie.. Sch starts in late Sept.. n till then its time to get a perm job somewhere... till i write again.. i jus wish i could spend more time with Him instead of arguing over my medical issues. sigh...