Story of the Day

I hold a record today for sleeping in till 430pm. Clearly i'm making up for the sleep debts I've incurred. It's holiday today and mum went over to sister's place with the maid. I have kitchen all to myself..

I spent about a good hour heating up leftover soup, cooking instant noodles, frying a perfect sunny side up.. AND of course the 'star' was the Teriyaki chicken steak i was making. Most of the hour was spent making the marinade and seasoning my chicken fillet. Finally the pretty delicious and home made, not very amazing meal was done. This is my breakfast / lunch / early dinner..

Just before i started eating, Jack called and we had a chat. Some how when i told him i was cooking, it totally cracked him up. Jack says, 'why bother to make that when you can get frozen ones from the supermarket and they are simply delicious too..'

*Rolls eye* MEN...! Tsk.. So duh!

Jack and i don't really even talk much before Don left. And most of the time after, it's all about work, nothing overly personal. There's always this distance btw us that is just unexplainable. And today apparently the silence was cracked. And we actually had a very long conversation that was started by food. Hmm..

We spoke briefly about work, then i mentioned Don was a sucker for the cakes i make. And it all started from there. I worked directly under Don and recalled fondly when i assisted him on some shoots in the past.. The fate of those model wannabes lie very much in my hands. Make me hate them and they get extra poke marks on their face. Hur hur.. Don caught me playing around once when I super imposed 1 of the irritating faces into a pig's face. We had a good laugh at bimbotic, 'batteries not included' models.. I filled Jack with those stories while my tears actually accidentally dropped into the noodles i was cooking.

Jack told me about how they started their partnership, about how they were both apprentices to a master photographer in UK. Their friendship went back then. Suddenly I realise how much more pain Jack experiences from this loss. The face he saw more often than his own family members and wife. Suddenly it's just gone.. Still working at a work place that every little thing from the equipments down to the used coffee cups.. Everything lingers. While I am quietly moving on with the grief, I realise how much harder it is for Jack. It occurs to me I cannot bring Don back. But surely I can make the ppl who are still alive to feel better.

It was really much easier for either of us after this conversation. For men, it is harder to express their grief and pain.. N actually they tend to suffer more internally. Women on the other hand are more vocal. While i consistently spoke about Don, I got over faster. I guess Jack never had anyone to really talk to about the loss. He still had to be the one to manage the cremation and bringing the remains back from Vietnam.. Suddenly i realise the ppl around were too busy grieving the loss and neglected Jack who actually needed more support than anyone else.

I've learnt something about life today. Too much we were blinded by our own emotions, we neglect everything else. We wallow in self pity. We were so self centered. We only remember our pain and forgot we need to support each other on this journey of grief. We cannot bring the dead back or erase the pain. But we can make those who are alive feel better and not regret nt doing enough should they leave us suddenly too..