The break down episode (part 2)

I've been crossing my fingers, days before mum's scan on Tuesday. We saw the specialist yesterday noon and literally got slapped in the face. I managed to remain composed, thou i felt murderous at that instance..

We head to TPY to meet my dad for lunch. It was our 1st meal out together as a family since mum's discharge.

Got home from lunch, I quickly prepared for mum's dinner. The plan was to head back to office after that. But I never did. When the door shut behind me in the room, i broke down and cried. Cried so hard I thought I'm gonna sink into depression again and never get back on my feet again.

2 consultants spoke to us, in my mum's presence. Tumours developed in 2 new locations, 1 has punctured through the nose cavity. Brain fluid is now leaking through mum's nose. Doc says, an infection can easily get through from there. Either that, or the fluid leaks till it dries up. Then mum slips into a coma. Both spells fatality.

So, we've been rejected flat. No operation is going to help with the situation. We're told to give up, told to just sit and watch her wilt away with time. Doc made me ask my mum on the spot, if she wants to do the operation. Mum waves no. But does she even understands us at this point in time?

The questions kept repeating in my head. Are we really selfish to insist on the operation if it's not my mum's will to? Is the doc really right? Is the op, the best for her, or the best for us?

Everything is a blur to me now.