Monday, November 26, 2007

Money money money..

There's this love hate feeling for year end.. Mostly hate i guess. I just got my progress payment last week which was suppose to last me till end of this year.. And by today I'm left with 30% only!

Apart from paying my 'freelance programmer' (hur hur.. non other than the goose..).. There's insurance that cost more than 1K... There's paying my sister for loan earlier.. And today i committed to 6 months of gym. I better work damn hard to make more money!

I need to get e new imac really soon. My macbook is not powerful enough to handle large format artwork. I took a good 40 min trying to export 1 file into PDF format.. Before it's even done, 1 msn message came in and the programme crashed! Dammit..

And guess what? Upgrading the work system is going to cost about 3K. I totally sense the impact of inflation on me!

11:08 PM 0 comments

Sunday, November 25, 2007



I've been at the office since late morning today. The rain just passed and its a cloudy Sunday. The pain in my neck is killing me and I thought I'd get a massage after working hard for the past few days..

But my office area is a total ghost town on Sunday. I cant get a cab and was already running late. Daunted, i decided to just get back to office and continue work and forget abt the whole massage thing. Sheezz..

Office is completely empty today. And it's a good time to do some shifting and planning. I'll start painting it a bit after i get over my management assignment tat's due this Friday.. Maybe i'll work a little harder for now and pamper myself well tomorrow. Hmmm...

4:28 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Culture Shock?

I've been extremely sleepy recently. It's the raining season again.. Besides that, i'm experiencing the effects of my sudden change of diet. Been abstaining from caffeine and I'm actually getting withdrawal symptoms - tension headaches.

Dragged myself to Orchard earlier today to have my dinner and meet my sis to come home together. I'm shocked that I actually felt dissociated from town and actually experienced a culture shock. I wanted very much to blog abt it. But I guess it's too sensitive to blog about it. The idea is more about me feeling i dont fit into this community anymore..

Hmmm...

11:06 PM 0 comments

Monday, November 19, 2007

@ Random

I've never been sure about my life. The things I wanna do, the life I wanna live. And it's starting to worry me a lot.

My ill discipline seems to be the culprit for everything. My sleep pattern is erratic. I need to stop taking caffeine. I need to watch my diet and complement it with my health and those dreaded medicine.. But I just kept forgetting..

I wonder when are my hormones gonna be back to normal. I've ballooned so much I cannot bear looking into the mirror. I'm hell of a water tank and askin me to drink less it jus seems impossible. I hate water retention.

I began to realise I've began to develop better learning attitude toward my studies and I owe it to work alot. Kinda regret why i didn't apply the same attitude I had for work on my studies. Perhaps I'd have done better and needn't repeat modules. Somehow the more I learn, the more I realise how little I know. And it's interesting to always stay curious..

Why is it do we only begin to change after something major happens in our life to change things? I only realise time is ticking away.. Life can be so unpredictable. We need to live life to the max. Yet what is living life to the max?

I feel like i'm floating around in the midst of the vast ocean. Studies to me now, is like a buoy that keeps me afloat while I figure out the direction I wanna set sail. Health complications is like an anchor that is strapped to my ankle and i struggle hard to keep afloat..

Today has been a pretty happy day for me, though it has been hectic. Yet it is annoying to be still awake at this hour.. zzz..

4:05 AM 0 comments

Saturday, November 17, 2007



These days I've been reading up a bit and trying to bond with my aloof girl bunny. Perhaps she needs to be neutered. These days she's a bit moody. I should bring it to vet soon..

Am not feeling too good tonight.. Perhaps its lack of sleep. I feel weird actually.

Am i lost? I think so..

1:11 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

In Loving Memory

Baby Cocoa at 3 months old..



Baby Cocoa in my arms..


Cocoa at 2 yrs, 7 months. 1.7Kg.


Cocoa's last moments..



Today has been an ultimately bad day for me. But trust me. I'm numbed to bad days. Within the past 2 months, I've had enough blows to immune me from pain..

I met June for lunch this afternoon and heads to meet my heartbroken sister shortly after to have a massage and chill out.. It was suppose to be pretty relax day. I finished my assignment last nite so i decided i shall give myself a break after meeting this morning.

Sis says she promised mummy to have dinner at home. So we head straight home after massage. I discovered my hyperactive Cocoa bunny is sick and hardly moving. Delayed no further and i googled for the nearest vet tat is still open at 745pm. Thankfully a nice vet says they will keep open till 815pm instead 8pm. So i quickly packed Cocoa into the pet travel bag and dashed down.

He was hardly moving at all. Cant really feel anything when the vet did a pain test. Took 2 xrays.. There was no injury and he was of a healthy weight. He probably suffered a stroke.

The plan was to put him on a strong dose of antibiotics and that is to be repeated 12 hrs later. I was suppose to bring him there tmr at 10am. Now the game plan has changed. He shall be cremated at 11am tomorrow.

My dear Cocoa passed away quietly without struggle at abt 1040pm.

Cocoa was hyperactive was alive and he loved it when i pat him on his forehead. This smart little chap knows who's the boss. He bullies my maid and bites her at times. But ever since his spay operation he got less aggressive and has been a sweet buddy. He has left me with a permanent scar on my right index finger. I'll remember how hard his bite was. How an entire piece of skin almost came off. This bunny was full of character.

Bye bye Cocoa! I'm sorry i didn't spend enough time with u and never really give u enough of my love. I only gave u enough good food to make u a healthy and chubby bunny. I hope u've been happy and not blame me too much. I promise to take care of your girl companion and spend more time with her, now that she has lost you. All animals go to heaven isn't it? I wish u're better over there right now. I love you! Thank you for the happy times u've given me.

1:35 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Lazy Monday

Was feeling so down from the moment i touch down yesterday.. I went for a haircut at my stylist's.

I sorta regret it a bit cos it's a bit too short now and I think i look like a mushroom head.

It was a very lazy monday for me. All the sleep debt i've incurred over the weekend haven taken a toll on me and i slept in till very late. Lazed around till 4ish before i head over to ECP to mug. Thankfully it has been a very productive session for myself. I manage to finish up my assignment and handed it up on time.

Am very tired now.. Time to zonk out!

2:58 AM 0 comments

Thursday, November 08, 2007

Story of the Day

I hold a record today for sleeping in till 430pm. Clearly i'm making up for the sleep debts I've incurred. It's holiday today and mum went over to sister's place with the maid. I have kitchen all to myself..

I spent about a good hour heating up leftover soup, cooking instant noodles, frying a perfect sunny side up.. AND of course the 'star' was the Teriyaki chicken steak i was making. Most of the hour was spent making the marinade and seasoning my chicken fillet. Finally the pretty delicious and home made, not very amazing meal was done. This is my breakfast / lunch / early dinner..

Just before i started eating, Jack called and we had a chat. Some how when i told him i was cooking, it totally cracked him up. Jack says, 'why bother to make that when you can get frozen ones from the supermarket and they are simply delicious too..'

*Rolls eye* MEN...! Tsk.. So duh!

Jack and i don't really even talk much before Don left. And most of the time after, it's all about work, nothing overly personal. There's always this distance btw us that is just unexplainable. And today apparently the silence was cracked. And we actually had a very long conversation that was started by food. Hmm..

We spoke briefly about work, then i mentioned Don was a sucker for the cakes i make. And it all started from there. I worked directly under Don and recalled fondly when i assisted him on some shoots in the past.. The fate of those model wannabes lie very much in my hands. Make me hate them and they get extra poke marks on their face. Hur hur.. Don caught me playing around once when I super imposed 1 of the irritating faces into a pig's face. We had a good laugh at bimbotic, 'batteries not included' models.. I filled Jack with those stories while my tears actually accidentally dropped into the noodles i was cooking.

Jack told me about how they started their partnership, about how they were both apprentices to a master photographer in UK. Their friendship went back then. Suddenly I realise how much more pain Jack experiences from this loss. The face he saw more often than his own family members and wife. Suddenly it's just gone.. Still working at a work place that every little thing from the equipments down to the used coffee cups.. Everything lingers. While I am quietly moving on with the grief, I realise how much harder it is for Jack. It occurs to me I cannot bring Don back. But surely I can make the ppl who are still alive to feel better.

It was really much easier for either of us after this conversation. For men, it is harder to express their grief and pain.. N actually they tend to suffer more internally. Women on the other hand are more vocal. While i consistently spoke about Don, I got over faster. I guess Jack never had anyone to really talk to about the loss. He still had to be the one to manage the cremation and bringing the remains back from Vietnam.. Suddenly i realise the ppl around were too busy grieving the loss and neglected Jack who actually needed more support than anyone else.

I've learnt something about life today. Too much we were blinded by our own emotions, we neglect everything else. We wallow in self pity. We were so self centered. We only remember our pain and forgot we need to support each other on this journey of grief. We cannot bring the dead back or erase the pain. But we can make those who are alive feel better and not regret nt doing enough should they leave us suddenly too..

6:39 PM 0 comments

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Cranky Granny

I just feel cranky today n i'm not sure why.. 
One of those days, my head says, 'no one trips my wire! or u bear those shitty consequences..'

*Hmpff..*


Claudia is hell of a grumpy granny today. :(


Perhaps the load of medications are making me even more sick than before. I feel pain and nausea every night. At any point in time i can fall into a deep sleep. And now I'm getting the mood swings.. 

2:34 PM 0 comments


For the gooslings..

Oh darling goose Audrey.. U got me upset almost too early! Hurr.. 

2007 hasn't been too kind to us isn't it? But u guys were the best thing that happened and make life seem pretty manageable. Seriously.. Sometimes Austin can be so much pain in the ass he really make the rest of ur life seem easier. Haha...

I believe we will still have our late dinners and drinks, maybe the swims become once in a blue moon event.. But it really is about how much we wanna be in touch. There's always MSN.. N we can always trick austin down to gardens to have Aston grill.. While we are always happy to chomp in the east.. Singapore's THAT small. Where do u think we can really hide?

Maybe we will be moving on with our lives.. Get a new job.. Maybe have a few kids? *looks over to Ost* Haha.. We will have new tales to share. Its the beginning of yet another new life. I cant wait for that to happen.. :)

2:09 PM 0 comments

Monday, November 05, 2007

Laughter - The best medicine

I was feeling a little bitter tonight, until i browsed through my mobile gallery and burst out laughing.

stupid austin always bully us. but he nv fail to crack us up. this is jus 1 of the evidence of him abusing us..

i miss days when we had classes at starhub centre.. esp those late nights dinner at all corners of the island..

1:14 AM 0 comments

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Food for thought

Something hilarious to share..

While making toast for breakfast, mummy got very excited. She came out of the room and say i sneaked out last night without telling her, but in fact i did. Just that she forgot. I told dad i'm going to have dinner with my friends nearby.. Dunno how dad interpreted it as my bf came to pick me up. It's so funny..

I bet my parents are getting sick of me and wanna marry me off soon.. But too bad!! They still gotta face me for the next many many years.. Hur hurr...

12:05 PM 0 comments


Disclaimer :

This is my personal blog, for sharing interesting photos, pretty designs and even juicy gossips with my friends. This is also my ranting space. I scream and shout anything and everything.

This blog is also open to public.
But as mommy has taught us, don't believe every word strangers say.

Anyone is free to read and comment. It's great if u like what u see. It's just too bad if you don't, since opinion is subjective.

I thank you for dropping by anyway.