Roses...




Roses for my photoshoot... i love e beautiful color. my poor irritated nose thou.. i'm looking like rudolf now. Sobz.. much as i love them, i'm ALLERGIC... *sniff sniff*

Joys n Rant..





Don's such a sweet teddy bear.. he knew i had a crappy wednesday n gave me chocolates as a form of encouragement!! aawww.... i'm so touched! Uncle Don, "ah ger" (as u always call me) will work hard for this final lap ok... thanks! life is sweet cos of nice ppl like u... *heave a sigh of relief* My day's made so much better...

I'm turned off with the environment in my school.. seriously turned off. i am taught not to be a nice person cos it will put me on e losing end. class on wednesday: scanning through the works of my classmates, i saw a series of print outs tat has similar art direction as mine.



her ads has e exact same layout but black background. her pictures were exactly e same concept. 1 of them was like durians and she superimposed strawberries as the fruit. its e exact same double-take images i uses here. totally pissed off! i'm pissed off cos from wk 1 of the project, no one gives her a damn. her work was thrashy and everyone talked behind her but no one offered help. when she approached me for help, u guys think i'll ever say no? selfish n claudia dont click. i jus never expect her to rip my idea off completely. come on! creativity is plagarism undetected. u wanna do it? at least do it in a smart way? or pls make sure u r so damn good u beat me flat i'll have nothing to say. literally turns me off completely. why over e yrs in lasalle i cant even find someone i can call my fren?

was talking to my ex classmate online. she said "why u take things so seriously? jus make use of them and then dump la! everyone is like that these days wat!!" it slapped me in the face.. so everyone is so selfish and disgusting and ungracious.. sorry but i cant stoop tat low to be at that level. but e sad fact is, indeed everyone is like tat in lasalle!! my gosh... u dunno how thankful i am to know i only haf half a yr to go at this hell hole... u dunno i'm already counting down to graduating and never step back to this place again.

yes i know advertising is a really bitchy scene. seriously wonder how am i to handle all e stabbings in future.. being emotional is one thing. how can i ever be this merciless and bitchy?!?! gosh!! i seriously wont allow myself to become tat way. period. thing is i have no problems making frens out of school and at work. working relationship has always been rather pleasant. ya i know some will say its jus cos i haven seen the real world yet. but why is the world even like tat? such a sad fact... i jus cant come to term with this. never wanna come to term to it. why cant we jus make a difference?? sigh....

of cos by thursday i was already less whiney n nt talking abt it as much. then austin asked how was workcheck.. so tat got me writing.. its already friday.. 530am.. sigh.. my work's like crap. someone give me some positive inspirations pls? i'm not being racist, but i defintely not gonna let tat copycat indian (straight from INDIA) to score better than me. i'll stab her if she does man! stab her stab her stab her!!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!! mus make voodoo outta left over cloth and put her name on it man...

ok! ranting over.. oh! now i wonder.. why i get charged for this posting.. "racism" issue? hahaa.. bloggers mus be careful with our words these days. but i'm pretty sure when it comes to vulgarities n racism... check out tat infamous rockson's blog man.. 99% filled with hokkien profanities.. all the "san zi jing" starts shooting.. man.. i had a headache trying to read! sigh.. totally tired now. good night folks... 2nite i actually miss laine n raymond.. haven been hearing much from them. anyhoo! wkend's coming.. chick's commissioning.. hang on for pics man!

Whipping a storm...

creation of the day.. Liquered Strawberries with Pancakes. man... e strawberries were fantastic! yes.. i give myself 10 out of 10. hahaaa.... pancakes look thrashy so i decided no pictures till e next time i do it. mus make sure i have chocolate sauce too. hehe... cos e pancake mix has been in e fridge for 2 days. day 1, pancakes were nice n fluffy and they jus found a nice circle. perhaps e mix interracted with air too much, they all look out of shape today n look horrible.

kitchen has been properly utilized these days cos i'm back to e cooking mood. maybe should attempt to cook e seafood porridge they haf from crystal jade.. yummy! then it'll save me 10 bucks everytime i haf craving for comfort food..

Happy Claudia! Savour this moment..

3am in the morning.. i'm suppose to be working on my ads. i predicted i'll be rushing like crazy n in panic mode. but no. i'm damn relax now. thou workcheck is like hours away? i'm still surfing ard, looking for inspiration.. oh man! this is not good man... anything n everything crosses my head EXCEPT work. hahaa...

women r jus wierd creatures.. when we get PMS, e whole world is damned. anything n everything, anyone n everyone pisses e shit outta u. u jus wanna stab stab stab.. n curse curse curse.. the rate of the F word shoots sky high tat time of e month. whoosh!! it screams stay outta my path else u get it from me.. women.. sigh.. i like e way im feeling now. the PMS is over.. feeling relax n happy. nt e lamenting and upset n depressed me.

met a thrashy person today.. made me pissed off.. reminded me of divorce.. school's a major turn off, but still my day was ok.. i'm happy n feeling light. i wish there's a formula to my emotions. i want to get it right and feel like this all the time. i'm positive abt everything. ya.. even e world crash down i'd jus say amen and tuck into bed. hahaaa... no more cursing n blaming abt life. savour this moment my dearies.. this is a side of claudia u dont see often. perhaps only once a month. thou depressed n upset is also once a month, tat period jus last longer than it seems. why? good times jus dont last. hoo hoo....

i wan this crazy advertising work to be over soon. i wan my sem break to come ASAP.. i'm already planning wat cake to buy and e possibilites to my cheese cakes. ooooo...... hehee... baking is such therapeutic activity. already plan to bake raymond an orange chocolate cake and coffee cheese for austin for their bdays.. the 2 lucky men of my life. hahaa... (whispers: actually they're jus my guinea pigs for creations. muahahaaa...)

i better get back to work.. oh! im interested in catching Beyond's concert.. then again also considering Stomp!.. hm... oh oh!! seems like AUD$$ has dropped.. wonder if i should change some cash for my trip back in dec.. wat if it drops further later in e month? hm... shall consult dad 2moro. maybe jus change a few hundred first. cant confirm if going back yet. vienna tempted me with Port Dickson and Cameron island. hehe.. might go over after my assessment. whatever. shall only think of play after work!! ciao....

i'm looking forward to aust's return to savour my greece wines.. thou he says he's more tempted with e post drinking. maybe he missed my mongolian vodka. hehe.. slacking buddy coming back! wooo.. soo looking forward..

Words...

ok jus minutes ago i wanted to post some random pictures but this site wouldn't allow me cos its under maintainence.. sheezz! turned off.. so its gonna be another wordy post. wanted to post e pic i forced my photographer to take for me. hahaa.. yes i forced him. jus too bad cos i love bullying him. Don's like a teddy bear. he's always in his "white" tee which already turned milk color and his tummy.. always haf this "qing qie gan" cos he reminds me of my teddy bear. jus tat my bear has fur and his "fur patch atop" is already fading. muahahaa... he's gonna kill me if he ever sees this...




yeah!! ok posting works.. i'm being vain again but who cares? portfolio is expensive. ask tat Don help me take he say 5k.. ask Jacque he say standard price which is 10k for his commercial shoot. its ok.. i'll con Don into taking pic for me everytime i see him. prob by dec i'll haf my album and i'll show him n thank him for his service. hahaaa....



i'm jus vaining again... but my self portrait skill also nt bad rite? hahaa...

ok i cant stop laughing away now cos i'm reading a thrashy thread. anyway some SG guy in US, ordered porridge and carrot cake for breakfast.. after eating mac for days, they were so happy to see "Zhok and chai tow kuay".. thou expensive, e thought of eating asian food made it all worth it. when e food came, the guy went like "porridge How come got those raisin and honey pour inside one? And the carrot cake is not chye tow kuay. Is really cake make from carrot.".......... almost died laughing.. sounded like some country bumpkin haven been out to see e world... sad... n ken was saying i'm pathetic. he should read this man...

ok more pics...



mood shots.. so depressing to see june leave tat day.... sigh...

i'm tired. more pics to come.. its 3am n i'm still here. class at 930am. later see how i die. hahaa....

Ranting.. Whining.. Sobbing..

sometimes i wonder, does positivity comes from a person naturally. i dunno why staying positive becomes a constant struggle for myself. i cant help to think positive ppl's life r less happening than mine.. of cos i'm not wallowing in self pity. i know i'm more more fortunate than so many others. but i guess e limit to everyone is different. perhaps for me, i'm jus born with a low threshold.

perhaps its jus e PMS shit.. i dunno.. but i guess someone's word kinda shaken me a little last night. someone told me, "perhaps u should let go"... then it struck me hard. i dunno why but it really kinda kept me awake e whole night. e many times i've said "its e past.. i'm already over n done with.." i guess he was right. if i had gotten over it i wouldn't even think abt it, i wouldn't even talk abt it. yet i found myself still in the same spot i was. perhaps the pride in me refuses to admit defeat. i jus refuse to come to term i jus cant let go. not the kinda "cant let go" like i still miss my ex. defintely not! i jus cant seem to recover from e emotional trauma.. but perhaps guys jus will never understand it.. but i cant say wat he told me didn't make sense. its true. it hit me like a slap in the face, but i appreciate it as he's frank n straight to me. i need this kinda fren to wake me up to my senses.

i'm still trying to figure a way to be better in terms of personality and perception.. decision making, working attitude, self discipline.. seriously the self discipline part.. i haven been trying hard enough. decision making? worse.. i cant even make up my mind on wat to eat.. n now? i have to make up my mind wat's e next step to my life.. work or study? psychology or advertising or design? australia UK or singapore? lasalle NTU NAFA or jus work?? gosh my brain is swelling with questions....

been stressed up these days i kept having nightmares every night.. tat is if i even sleep. sleeping pattern has been like.. i sleep 1 day and i stay awake 1 day.. aaaaargh!!! return me my sanity for God's sake..

friday nite... its only 1:30am n i'm freaking tired.. yawning away..

rite.. had japanese food with a fren jus now. no appetite after e great battle at work. i rather not go into details of e stupidity of crappy japanese clients. anyway... it was jus a casual dinner. i'm actually tired from work thou.

sooo.. was jus walking along orchard road after visiting borders. e night seem short.. but i'm actually quite tired cos we jus kept walking and kept walking. from borders to somerset mrt station. then the crazy idea of walking home from bishan struck me. cos haven been jogging regularly so e walking was to make up for it. we jus crap along e way.. i didn't thought it was tat far to walk.. but apparently i think we covered e world b4 we reach home. from nonsensical talks to astrological lectures.. phew! we really covered e universe. haha.. seems like a long time since i did tat.. i felt like i haven took a break in a long time..

so this fren.. he reminds me of ken so much. wats e funny fact? he's also called ken.. think laine n i jus haf this tangly relationship with "kens". e long walk home.. his little actions n e way he talked. reminds me of ken so much. e older 1 i mean. how can 2 person be so alike? its scary. they actually look quite alike too. i'm having a splitting headache now. its a bad omen. mus be a sign.. ok i'm damn lame now. why? cos ken is really extremely lame.. couldn't stop laughing e whole night. i think he can click damn well with e rest esp ray n laine.. tell u his lameness will beat u all flat. n he's proud of it. gosh! i'm already getting it...

or maybe its jus e headache. whatever.. i need to zonk out. its another party night tmr. gd nite folks!

TGIF

guess its becoming a habit.. i didn't sleep a wink tonight.. or was it last nite? i cant determine cos its 6am now.. so.. whichever u prefer. think im going for a jog b4 i come back n zip right into bed.

so wat haf i been doing throughout e night? well actually absolutely nothing.. hahaa... jus chatting away with a "nemo fish". haha.. jus a fren who named me dory for my forgetfulness.

presentation for D.management was over yesterday. class was draggy thou. ended only at 9pm.. classmates n i headed to suntec for a quick dinner. why quick dinner? cos we were rushing to go haf a booze at paulaner's. hahaaa... crappy rite. anyway we jus had 1 drink n tat's it. why? was with 3 guys.. 1 malay guy he went there for lemon tea tat cost 7 bucks. damn! n i paid for it.. zzz... the other 2 lives with their gf so gotta be back b4 12 else they'll find their suitcase at e corridor. hehee... so i headed home.

guess i wont feel e pressure of work until maybe monday.. no mood for work yet. whatever.. ciao! its jogging time.

Recap...

completely knocked out e moment i hit e bed last nite.. e next moment i woke up was noon. i haven slept this soundly for a long time. its good to wake up feeling recharged, thou e weather's perfect to be tucked under ur blanket, sipping warm mocha and reading ur favourite novel again.

yesterday was fun.. met up with laine in town, walked ard a bit and headed to arab street and haji lane... felt like we went back into time. our memories were relived. its like the bits n pieces of our forgotten memories came back to us. e vintage store we visited, spotted those macdonalds toy tat we "die die must have" when we were kids. heheee... jukebox. if its still working i would haf lugged it home. $3000.. worth it. when i have a house of my own..

got colorful beaded jewellery @ $5 only.. n there's this cosy bakery we walked in to tat served sinful cakes. comparable with Bakerzinn's warm choc cake and BigO's indecent obsession.. n there's also where we received june's email thru my hp.. "virgin email from UK" ok... heheee

this is the praline mousse.. has this layer of raspberry filling in between chocolate and hazelnut mousse with a layer of crusty praline on top.. heavenly!!

strawberry tart.. toasted mashmellows atop strawberries tat were so sweet i'm so sure they're imported.. the tart layer is so thin u didn't even notice it. but e crust is so nice too.. OOooo... (^.^)

such heavenly indulgence for only $4 each.. how wonderful can life be? hehee..

while we head towards home, decided to wind thru the selegie "flea market".. basically old ah pek selling wierd things ranging from electronics to CDs to jewelleries to counterfeit watches.. was hoping i could find a nice vintage watch but i realised they're v much like those we saw in KL's "she shiong gai".. nothing really antique n vintage. actually a bit thrashy. but the experience was nice.. given its our first time! hehee... but i felt a bit violated. apparently i was e only girl ard and i was in skirt. sheezzz...

n so we walked n walked.. where's e MRT station? i dunno. hehe.. we found ourselves in rows of shop houses so run down it reminded us e days we were in bangkok.. e same way we were walking endlessly trying to look for e train station. hehee.. we found mustafa SC.. the first time i was in this much talked abt place. unexpected bought perfume there. hehe.. not those coconut scented one la!! bought my Gucci envy for only $39 and Hugo Deep red for only $55.. how could i resist such temptations? heheee...

ok then... officially we headed home on NEL.. short shopping trip but i felt we covered so much.. like a cultural n heritage trail. hehee.. amidst our stress, its good to let our hair down and enjoy half a day... we rest to ensure a longer journey. Cheers! to our great day....

Ordeals...

its more than 30 hrs i've been awake.. and still counting.. my body has slowed down, brain's nt active.. yet i need to blog to get this off my chest.. i'm struggling to keep awake n type accurately.

was abt to sleep when aunt called.. telling me 1 of my aunt is very ill from cancer.. guess its e final stage.. cancer cell has spread all over the body. then everything starts coming in... my 1st n 2nd aunt both passed away first quarter this yr.. my mum was very sick.. and now someone's fighting a life or death battle once again. 2005 has been extremely unlucky and painful for my family to bear... all the cancer stories ard me. i wish i could help more ppl cope with this devilish illness.

i'm tired and i cant go on further. n anyway no words can express my mixed emotions now. i'll go sleep and deal with work again when i wake up. i'm glad to receive june's email today.. i'll update on laine n my historical trip back to e past today when i'm more awake tmr.. nite folks!

Will Parallel lines ever meet?

i bump into keith today. yet again. how often do u bump into someone? there are jus ppl u'll never bump into on e streets, and some u keep bumping in and i dunno why.. fate at work? then why didn't fate bring us jus a bit further? whatever... i enjoyed e magic anyway.. e strange feeling u get at e instance ur eyes meet. the magic makes me believe miracles.

right now i do need a miracle. i'm suspecting i might haf dengue.. the aching muscles, the rash, the fever.. felt like wat ray would say, "there's a shitty cloud hanging over me". i need someone to talk n whine to.. aawww.. no one's ard. pathetic..

i'll talk to my teddy then. sobz..

disappointment . upset . emotional

4am. Got home from airport. I cant find another better way to express my disappointment and sadness..

we entrusted june to be in his care. we still told june not to bully him. no one believed he left his gf behind and entered the departure hall all by himself. how selfish can tat be? dont tell me all e lame excuses like miscommunication of "i thought"... after she calls him, ask him to come over to e gate to help her.. he didn't even bothered. meet at the gate. for wat fuck? u expect a skinny june to carry a 15kg backpack, 10kg laptop and a dunno how fucking heavy handluggage. no amt of excuses can make me stop worrying how's life gonna be for june..

wat can we do? jus keep hoping things settle down soon for her..

so guys, tell me how do i trust u? i cant imagine out of the many ppl i know, there are only 2 or 3 guys i know i can trust. n infact only 2 i know tat will never hurt me or break my heart. why is it so hard for me to trust anymore? cos whenver i thought i could, something will show me i cant and i shouldn't. n i guess at this point of time when i've more or less confirm i'll do a 4 years dbl degree course, i'll want to leave e country without worries and commitment. i'll wait till mum's more settled down first.. relationship? i guess it'll come much later. no way am i gonna drag an emotional baggage with me.. no way am i gonna let myself feel lonely in a foreign land and find myself crying day and night. so relationship i guess its a big no no to me now... i dont wanna get hurt again thou much as i wanted the company and love, i guess loneliness is easier to bear than yet another hearbreak..

right now i jus hope june's doing fine.. the week will be crazy for me.. i hope things be smooth.. sigh...

Monday Blues

The weekend passed quickly.. so much to do, so little time. i'm beginning to panic and i feel the rush of the week. have alot of things to do but i left it all aside. now its getting to me.. i can be assured this week's gonna be a mad rush...

saturday was farewell lunch for junie.. n the time has come, another of my dear dear fren is going to leave me for a faraway land.. my life is getting more n more empty. n tat makes me treasure those left with me even more. its less than 12 hrs tat we'll be at e airport.. sending this dearest fren off.

was talking all night long last nite with a fren. n it suddenly got to me.. i gotta admit at times i was upset with june along e way of our friendship. we didn't spend tat alot of time b4 she left. but as it got so close to me, at abt 4am, i went "oh shit! i better bring alot of tissue paper later." i'm darn sure its gonna be alot of teary moment.. i could already felt it coming. sigh...

its gonna be a mad rush cos i haven finish e montage and dont even talk abt sending for print. gotta see e doc at 230pm. its already 1pm.. shit! i seriously doubt i have time n here i am still blogging away. ok stop here. i'll continue with e soap opera episode later at night.

Fear..

Its really scaring me. Mum's forgetfulness freaked me out seriously. an hr ago i was talking to her b4 i went for a short jog. half an hr later i got home. she called for me. i went downstairs n she railed at me. blaming me for not talking to her the whole day, left her all alone at home...

i talked to her when in the morning. i went for spa session at 3pm. i called home to ask wat she wants to eat. i bought food home during dinner time. all these, she forgotten. i cant help but feel so helpless at this moment. i cant be strong any further. why when i thought things are settling down, it starts getting out of hand again.

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the better stuff..

went for spa today. ultra relaxing.. thou e massage made me cried out for help, i needed tat to release my tensed muscles. the first time i had a massage tat rubs ur chest. gosh i tell u.. tears jus flow out like she pressed a button. felt like i've got a bruised chest now. but my muscles there were indeed very tensed. sigh..

Blood, Pains and tears...

Always haf this problem of getting runny nose whenever i jog. So when i was out on my jog, nose started getting runny. so i ignored it and went on. minutes later i found my shirt and hands stained with blood. bet i look like a monster tat jus ate his meal raw. so i hurried home.

now my neck and shoulders are aching so bad, the pain goes up my head. feels like a permanent brain freeze.. either blood is stuck up at my brain, or blood cant get their. feels like my head is wrapped up so tightly. in so much pain my toes are curling. n i'm still here blogging? its the only way it distracts me n takes away a bit of my pain.

e funny thing is laine is also having nose bleeding. this is psychic or wat? this chemistry bond is getting freaky.

brought mum out today. she's getting more n more forgetful these days. few days ago, b4 i went to school, was talking to her while i prepare my lunch. then i said bye to her n went out.. hrs later she called my mobile n say "so late already u still dont wan to wake up n haf ur lunch ah".. she forgotten i left n was even talking to her.

i cant help but wonder.. will she forget me 1 day? will she forget her family? the thing she dedicated her whole life to. it freaks me out.

the pain is coming down my arms. heading to bed. pray i be back later to blog else it means i'm "doing time" at "hotel elizabeth".

Disgusted with parasites of society

its journal submission day.. i'm pretty pleased with it. so e grades r 2nd priority to me. job satisfaction is enough. moreover art is subjective. so tat's 1 stress down. next gotta start on my ads.. still haven confirm my launch ad. this sounds a bit dangerous. but fret not. i'll work hard this 2 days..

its like so much happenings today. left sch, suppose to take 14 to ikea. e first time i hopped onboard an oven bus. air con's nt working n i wonder why e driver can even leave terminal with tat. the bus was kinda packed n its 11am. the afternoon sun, a bus packed with people, without aircon and ventilation. got off after 3 stops. e dumb sensor's nt working too. so i couldn't tap my card. i paid 2 bucks to enjoy sauna. u can imagine how crap e rest of my day went on...

got to ikea.. had lunch with sis.. got e lamp i needed. lucky dad could come pick up from me. else i be lugging it with my heavy book all ard with me. soooo.. happily deposited stuffs with dad n took bus to town. wanted to visit supermarket b4 heading home. i think i'm so damn intelligent. i took 195 from bt merah b4 to marina.. so i happily hop on at anchorpoint.. half an hr later, i found myself back at the same place i got on. i was like EH! wat am i doing here again... so this bus loops at commonwealth. only NOW then i'm heading to marina. oh great. so i happily familiarize myself with bt merah all the way to river valley to town. i got to town at 3+pm.. smart rite.. (>_<)"

then the "grand finale" of the day came... the 2nd time i scolded a stranger. but trust me this time i really raise my voice and scolded an idiot. no. its a parasite of society. come everybody. bedtime story again....

u guys know inside carrefour there's travellator.. its actually not recommended for wheelchairs. but i saw this uncle in his 70s, got jammed at the start of the travellator. in a distance, a young boy, prob abt 10 yrs old, wanted to walk over to give his a hand. then his mother shouted out, "BOY! quick come over!! right now!!" tat's e exact words she used. this woman ain't those uneducated auntie u see in NTUC. well dressed, clading branded handbag. next thing i heard, she told her boy openly, "dont go over. he's sick." the very moment, i felt my blood gushed in me. disgusting people are all ard us. but when this kinda idiot appears right in front of u, trust me the disgust is a 1000 times worse. i got the uncle off and told the woman,
"if there is any fatal virus here tat will kill ur son, it will be your selfishness and ugliness of your attitude."
reply:
"you so li hai, not scared die, then you help la"
"dying is not scary. being labelled selfish and inhuman is a shame worse than death."

i wish i added in before she trots away, "especially in front of your son"... WHY?? why do such parasite of society exist? after sending the uncle to the front porch to wait for his son, i kept questioning myself.. on e way home, tears actually fell. the whole thing jus make me feel why such an idiot exist? in front of her son... wasn't she afraid in her dying bed, she longs to hold her son, and son says "sorry mummy but u said i shouldn't come near you".... i tot such mean fuck only exist in drama series. i couldn't bring myself to believe her existence made this world this ugly and unbearable to live in. i feel sad for her son to haf such a mother. i had the urge to write to SPH. but i guess forget it. i'm not tat free and also these idiots wont give a shit. if they could openly be so mean n proud of it, they wont give a fuck abt anything else.

pardon my profanity.

alright.. cravings satisfied *wink wink* muahahaa.. indulging in my sin now. went for a swim at 5.. the weather's great. cloudy. jus nice... did my 20 n headed to bishan to pack dinner n buy stuffs. couldn't resist reaching out for tat packet of chocolate coated raisins. hehee...

packed seafood porridge from crystal jade from dinner.. tot i'd go light after working out. good choice indeed. felt really sick on e way home. headache n fever.. sigh.. the porridge was a good comfort.. n i felt better instantly. :D

Tuesday with Claudia

it has been a pretty relaxed weekend.. class cancelled today cos lecturer's on MC.. so its staying at home n working for e ads draft tmr..

met june for lunch yesterday @ thai express. my treat as her farewell lunch.. this fren is leaving for UK in less than a week. yet another buddy tat's stepping out of my life. anyhoo.. met cindy on train when i was on e way to town. nice surprise.. trust me its not easy to catch cindy. *grinzz* poor ger working so hard, teaching and studying at the same time. same thing for laine.. so stressed out with uni.. u girls better take care n dont push urselves too hard. i'm ever the relaxed creature tat takes life slowly. haha.. u guys dont move too fast else its hard for this worm here to catch up ok..

forgotten to mention earlier i've been so blur thru e weekend.. sat i missed cheehwee's 21st bday party. lucky i handed the present over to e rest of e boys earlier last wk.. wasn't too well on sat n anyway i told them to enjoy at devils under my account.. then sunday.. i missed a wedding dinner. i kept thinking its only happening next wk.. i really am getting old. anyway cos i dont haf a partner to go with, wouldn't wanna sit at e table with e rest of my colleagues we were either married or attached. so tat saved my $80 bucks ang bao.. should go hunt for a wedding gift soon.

i suppose this weekend will be really busy.. june's farewell lunch and geetha's bday happening on e same day. n gosh! i haven buy presents yet.. nvm. i'm sure we haf time to get them on sat noon since we already know wat to get.

aawww.. i'm craving for chocolates! blame it on those raging hormones.. "That time of the month".. zzzz.... was looking high n low yesterday for something to ease my cravings. i'm trying to stop myself from running out to shop for some. heheee.. ok! its therapy time again.. oh! paragon's jus next to mt elizabeth rite. *oops!!* :D

Bedtime stories..

a really interesting story.. u cant find this on the papers or news. its 100% original and accurate. hehehee... my fren prefer not to be named for privacy and safety sake... lets jus name his Tom..

so Tom lives in a private property in joo chiat. i've met his dad, he's a very nice man. a very simple man. his mum runs his dad's family business. they're rather well off i mus say. his dad is a teacher but takes bus to school daily. he'll pass by the coffeeshop outside his estate. so few yrs back this nice man noticed this beggar at e coffeeshop. he paid for his meal n set off to work. since then, he pays for the meals of this complete stranger jus as a kind gesture. i'm very touched by this kindness. so over time, this 2 man become frens. occasionally Tom's dad bring this beggar home, made tea n plays chess at his house. his mum on e other hand always blame his dad for being the "stupid" guy.. like why waste money on a stranger n even bring him home.. etc. etc.. but this kind gesture went on for abt 3-4 yrs. until earlier on, this man suddenly stop appearing at e coffeeshop. then news from e aunties there says he passed away.

then recently a lawyer turned up n told his dad this old beggar actually has a property in joo chiat area.. n he willed $500,000 as a "thank you" for being a fren to this lonely man. its like.. this story is so drama... but i'm so touched by it. a kind gesture from u could actually bring so much warmth to another person. i'm very touched and impressed with this man.. how many ppl out there r this nice? its indeed rare as a dinosaur.. so ppl.. be nice ok! u never know when u get lucky. hahaa... of cos dont be nice if u r jus doing it for the return. i'd rather someone be jus himself rather than faking to be a nice guy. whatever u do, do it from the heart.. it matters. ALOT.




friday's murder case kinda shocked me today when i know e murderer lives a street away from me.. GROSS! multilating a body.. how much hatred does it take for you to cut someone up tat way? professionals states 3 possibility of e motive. Love, money or mental case. I'd say its gotta be love..

these foreign workers dont earn too much here. the possibility of money, i dont suppose it'll stir up so much hatred enough for u to commit such a devious act. when it comes to love, i'd say love is a very powerful emotion. it'll overcome u, make u lose ur head over it.. whatever. tat's jus my speculation.

was on sis's car.. we passed by MacRitchie. we started making dumb speculations of how e maid lug the body from orchard, then take 162 from town to the reservoir, then from there take 156 to go home. hahaa.. its dumb. but we were actually going into details like how those sick perverts out there will compile the cases and do a study on them to perfect the murder.. of cos we're jus talking nonsense la.. but u wouldn't wanna leave this possibility out.

i guess it really helps clear ur mind to work n sweat it out.

went for a short jog with ray in e morning.. i made him wait for almost an hr? oops! this blur sleepyhead headed to bishan stadium, sat there for 15 minutes under the sun, all the while thinking "this raymond so late.. later make him buy breakfast!" then suddenly i sat up. WAT AM I DOING HERE? i thought.. we're suppose to be jogging at serangoon.. super blur rite! hahaa.. he was jus abt to leave e stadium. lucky i caught him there in time. couldn't contact him cos he didn't haf anything with him. sooooo... i made him job another 1.6 on top of his 2.4. hahaa.. raymond i'm a good motivation rite.. muahahaa... 2 months not working out is bad. used to do 5km faithfully at least twice a wk in e gym. its ok. i'll train more with raymond now. the time to relax is when you don't have time for it.. i'll try to work out to be more productive n also not falling sick so easily.

n so as i got back, my mind's refreshed n working. its a good sign. i haf abt 3 hrs to do a bit of work b4 bringing my mum out. so target is do a bit of journal, confirm my ad concept so tat i can get food later to do food styling. set up, tmr morning do photoshoot. hopefully things go well.

HOME...

Its good to be home again. *heave a sigh of relief*

i miss the smell of home.. the sound of the running water.. the running fingers on the keyboard... the feel n smell of my familiar cosy n comfy bed.. aawww... its good to be home! i must emphasize on tat again. hee..

well after stoning ard for some time, i had to release my desire to get out. haha.. e moment i wave goodbye to dad, (he sent my stuffs home :D) i took a bus ride to bukit timah.. to check out the long awaited corduroy n finch. i'm disappointed cos i didn't expect the crowd on a friday noon. my desire to lounge there n do my journal was not satisfied. so i took another bus.. ended at cold storage jelita. a nice place to shop i mus say. things seems exceptionally fresh there. catered for expats n the ultra upper class singaporeans. wat do u expect.. things r also priced higher too. walking down e shelves filled with exotic foods n international labels.. felt like a tai tai. without spending a single cent. muahahaa...

my tummy's already growling by 4pm when i left tat place for town. i couldn't get anyone to go out with me. i tot of derrick when i was in the area, but i settled for shopping alone instead. so i'm back in orchard, where i started...

ok.. i got my dad a top from burberry.. then went on to m)phosis.. tried on lots of clothes. but didn't buy anything. hahaa.. went to PS. tempted to buy shoes. but i didn't. i only bought a green top from m)phosis. hehe.. 16.80. good buy! mum say she'll sponsor me for my shoes. wee! i'll take her shopping tmr. hahaaa... anyway we'll be back there for groceries. *evil grinz*

met junie n we proceeded to city link. tried on tops at m)phosis AGAIN.. ya i'm such a sucker for this brand.. let june see e top i wanted so much. but again i resisted temptations. cos i realise i only haf 50 bucks in my coin pouch. hahaa.. gotta haf dinner. so i decided to splurge a little on dinner. hehe... had cold soba with salmon sashimi. *OOOOoooooo* pure indulgence! met ray shortly after.. he's so sweet today. offered to carry my burberry paperbag, filled with clothes, my huge notebook n a bottle of wine. hahaa.. dont ask why wine's in there. *oops!*

ray got a top from topman. chose a maroon stripe shirt for him n i think he looks good in it. well OF COS! ME chose it. i haf good taste. period. hahahaaaaaa... be nice to me n let me be hao lian for once since i'm still a patient.. ok! after tat we head back to raffles place. EAT again! banana w/ ice cream waffle and "meat lovers meal" and aunt amy chewy choc cake... ultimate sin!! but ray such's a sweet chap today.. he gave us a treat. its prob e last time for this yr tat he sees june. so its his farewell treat for her n i got lucky! hahaaa...

on e way back, we were talking abt marathon. ray got me slightly motivated to train for one thou i'm rather sure at this point of time i can only complete an eighth of it. hahaa... perhaps i'll really set aside some time to train everyday. for fitness, to release stress amidst my work, n also trying to achieve the impossible.. for a good start we'll meet to jog tmr morning. i hope i can keep up with my 5km tat i used to do in gym. tat's... abt 2 months back? ok la not tat long ago to keep up. i give myself longer time to complete it. but i'll religiously complete it i promise.. to burn e calories i took in today also. hahahaaa....

i'm in high spirits today. dont wanna talk abt any details of my days in e horrid place n the terrible following week to come. i miss my dear friends.. i wanna haf fun, do lots of work this wkend.. n face my terror on monday. I WILL DO IT! :D good nite... n maybe after shower if im still ok, i might come back n talk more. :D

u dunno how happy i am to get online!! i love macdonalds.... hahahaaa...

was dying to get out of hospital.. but e damn doc kept me waiting in vain. he say maybe can discharge 2day.. n say we will see. then 5pm.. he went home. damn! i was waiting n waiting.. my neck long like giraffe. sobz.. so i resort to e evil trick. throw on my jacket n run to mac! i hope no nurses come drag me outta here later. hahaa..

i'm literally going crazy in e hospital. so bored i jus kept eating n eating.. put on 1kg in a day. amazing rite. :P so bored i started playing with my food. even counted my how many biscuits in a pack. so now i know there r 15 pieces of oreo in a row. 28 gummies in a pack. (i tot wouldn't it make more sense if its 30? maybe factory worker ate is secretly...) ok yes i'm TAT bored.. going crazy literally. read my advertising book inside out n outside in. aawww.. someone let me home. i haf this urge to jus take a cabbie home. hahaaa... in hospital clothes and slippers. siao! ok..

but its ok. now tat i found a place for me to be online. haha.. if i'm too bored tmr i'll sneak out here too. muahahaa.. maybe shun bian order a meal n eat also. i'm put on soft diet. yucks! it means porridge n mee suah all day long. gross.. even i'm nt sick also become sick. rite rite rite rite rite?? mus get a few pennies from dad later. sigh.. tat is if he comes.

alright i better run back. i'm suppose to go get a drink not run to mac n blog. haha.. i'll be back in action soon! n guys.. since u've seen this post. it means i'm doing fine so no worries n no need to visit me. come also sit ard only.. dont waste time n money. i'll be back ... tat's all folks!

Day 1..

the happy things i mentioned didn't come true today.. was too tired to even buy dinner after e session. felt like i was drugged. legs were so aching n tired.. felt like was having period pains..

packed dinner from coffeeshop n took a cab home. gobbled my dinner.. (tat's breakfast + lunch + dinner + supper).. i cant believe i'm such a pig. i was SOOOO tired i jus went to sleep immediately after i ate. gosh...

napped for 2 hrs n i'm back online. needed to work. sigh.. plucked myself outta bed thou i'm so reluctant to. while in bed i could hear my com.. messages coming in. its a crazy world. when i'm online no one is. now i'm so tired i jus wanna sleep everyone's looking for me. disgusting.. *cranky mode*

can believe in bump into keith twice today.. felt like a deja vu. dreamt of him last nite. i dunno y.. haven been thinking much of him. but its e 2nd time i bump into him in a week. felt awkward.. but im glad to see he's put on weight. hahaa.. it always happen when one's in love..

grabbed my long awaited "creative advertising" book.. its good. i like it. period.

actually it does suck a little whenever i know in a time i needed some support my frenz r busy. sigh.. the pains of life. as we all get older, e life gets more n more hectic. pathetic life.. its like a cycle singaporeans go round n round in.. i'm not gonna let myself be in there. i never fail to leave time for myself no matter how crazy my life is. maybe tat's y im always never the best. hahaa.. but hey! at least i live a happier life. a life tat i want..

i'm still deciding.. should i bake cheese cake again today? i wanna run to get my advertising book... also wanna check out french CDs at That CD shop.. n then there's corduroy n finch tat i wanna drop by.. aawww... so much to do n so little time. i jus tot i should pamper myself after therapy today. hahaa.. anyway i can only afford to do tat when i dont haf class. n tat means 2nite when i get home gotta burn midnight oil. muahahaa.. but which day am i nt burning it?

i'll be back for reviews on tat nice cafe with high shelves soon. ;)

ok.. was going through wholivesnearyou.com.. i normally dont surf tat lame site.. but well i'm tat bored today to do tat. anywayz.. i received this guy's picture.. n i totally laughed my head off... i hope he dont kill me for uploading this. haha



do u see someone familiar?? look closer.....

my next reaction: msg ray on msn.. WAT THE FUCK YOU DOING?... hahaaa... this silly bee never fails to get me laughing.

i'm still not sleeping cos i cant get to.. cant get my mind off tmr's therapy. head's spinning already but im having insomnia. sigh..

I'M EXCITED !!! I'M EXCITED !!! I'M EXCITED !!! I'M EXCITED !!! I'M EXCITED !!! I'M EXCITED !!! I'M EXCITED !!! I'M EXCITED !!!

making plans for my great escapade n i'm thrilled at my findings... well i'm still deciding btw Nepal or the outbacks. but currently the findings of being a conservation volunteer in OZ sounds tempting. i'm looking at a 2 wks trip. u do conservation work there.. u dunno where u'll be putting up at night. it could be a tent under e stars, could be a caravan or the hostels.. wooo!! i love the uncertainties.. n it got me pretty excited. the best deal? approx. 600SGD for 2 wks.. meals n accomodations provided. u travel to rural areas.. i'm sure i'll see pretty stuffs.. n e get away from city. i like e idea of getting away...

was looking at travelling in late oct or early nov.. but i guess i'll push it till next may when i'm officially over with work. but i'll try to book tickets soon so tat e financial part is distributed over many months. n i suppose e anticipation is e best part? hehee.. ok i should get on with some work b4 i bring mommy out later.

had tea @ cosy place today.. a vintage cafe within electic attic, PS.. sheez... hell of an expensive place! n i'm so not impressed with e food. but what to do?? my dear sis's bday tmr.. my treat.. can believe she turned down my offer of chocolate buffet at fullerton.. n even hightea at goodwood park hotel.. jus to give this nice looking cosy cafe a try... great! i felt i got ripped out thoroughly.. for a bad experience.. sigh. expensive. so everyone DONT GO!!! unless u r ultra rich.. then go ahead for e experience.

nothing much to update today. i feel vain cos i jus did my nails. shan't spend so much time typing else it'll affect how it looks. hahaaa... oh did i mention a few days ago i'm broke? *oops!* ya i'm even more broke now.... hahaa...

well keith's attached le.. glad for him.. i can move on without feeling guilty i guess. but move where? haha.. i'm still in my stagnant state. nvm..

oh i attempted tia maria cheese cake jus now. ooo.... imagine coffee liquer with fluffy japanese style cheese cake. drooling yet? hehee... e tia maria part was impromtu.. jus decided to dump some in n *TA DAAAA*!!! its coffee cheese cake... being thick skin, i'd give myself a 7.5 / 10. i'll do better the next time.... perhaps next month? somebody's bday coming up.. tat coffee fanatic. hahhaaa... he jus automatically flow into my mind when i talk abt coffee..... who else but tat hao lian austin tan...

VirginShoot..




A very exciting wednesday evening.. my virgin artistic photoshoot... I didn't think its tat nice. guess i'm too stiff cos it was freezing!! at a point of time i cant even smile naturally.. but e whole experience was nice.. motivated to lose weight now. hahaa....